Sunday, October 28, 2007

a matter of national urgency

This may not be anything related to printmaking, but I believe it to be a matter of severe social and cultural importance. Yes, that's right, this is about Spree. The candy. Once, I was getting in the car for a bit of a drive, when my driving friend brought along a roll of Spree. "Spree?", said I, "what the fuck is wrong with you?". "They are a great road-trip candy", said my companion. "No, they are an awful candy that is entirely unpleasant, and plagues other countries with war and genocide by even existing! Get those Spree out of the car!", said I. Maybe that is a little bit of an exaggeration, but that's pretty much how it went down, except for that last bit. I just wanted to make sure that the world at large knows how horrible this innocent looking roll of candy really is. It may have a shiny wrapper, and come in appealing colors, but that is just a guise. Once you put one in your mouth, you have about five seconds of anonomyous sweet fruity taste before the candy coating begins to break down and taste like you have a disc covered with rough warts in your mouth. Then, once all of the candy coating has turned bumpy and dissolved off, you are left with a foul white chip that is sour and hard as a rock. Biting it will surely cause tooth damage, and once bitten the sour infestation will make you cringe in disgust. Now, there is a Chewy Spree variety that's not nearly as bad. Quite tasty, in fact. Join us next time for our regularly scheduled printmaking programming.

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