Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Durer? Lame.

"Tired of people borrowing your things, then forgetting they're yours? Wish you had a way to instantly identify things that belong to you?" Do you ask yourself these questions once or twice a year? If so, then Engrave-it may be for you! I was perusing an end-cap display at the Target everything store and this particular end-cap was dedicated to "as seen on T.V." products. Awesome? It gets better. My eyes settled upon this great hand held engraving tool. In printmaking world, I've heard this tool called a vibrograver (although that may be a janky term used only in that shop). It makes a terrible noise, and works basically like a very small and not so powerful jackhammer with a "hardened carbide oscillating micro-tip", which enables you to "engrave" words, or anything you like, into almost anything: tools, lamps, your wood floor, bikes, cans, your face. The possibilities are endless and amazingly cool. After two months of ownership, I figure that people probably realize that all of their stuff is now covered with names and stupid pictures in an incredibly messy, barely legible, scrawl. It takes some pretty intense control to have proper "penmanship" with this tool, therefore everything looks like it's been touched by a second grader. I'm also pretty sure that it will not take long before some misguided youth jerry-rig this bad boy into a makeshift tattoo gun. (don't do it kids, you'll have that picture of "insert video game hero here" on your buttox forever).

I must say though, it's pretty cool that this tool is encouraging people to "engrave" everything. For a mere $6.99 at Target, or more dollars on T.V., everyone on this planet can be one step closer to being a master engraver. Now, I've got to run so I can go engrave a copy of Melancholia onto the side of my car. I suggest you do the same.


Beki said...

Holy shit CHRISTMAS LIST. How have I never seen this???

rachelmaria said...

i have never laughed so hard at a blog post. thank you so much for entertaining my unemployment days. and if you want a neat photo equivalent, here you go:

you, too, can blind your eyes by attempting to focus on a 1 inch square of five pixels that is supposed to be your beloved newborn baby.